It may be wrong, but I am going to assume that a portion of you reading this may not be directly aware of Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake. I say this not to discredit you the reader or this couple’s contributions. It’s a more disparaging remark of me, who likes to consider myself to have some creative juice in my veins. In some ways their life sounded like it could be a dream. They had successes, genuine talent and a relationship that is usually only relayed in storybooks and teenage fantasies. But their lives were not fantasy or a dream. They were real. They were larger then life and like all of us not without some tragedy and dare I say flaws.
Theresa Duncan was a writer, a perfume aficionado and cultural observer. At age 40 she had achieved a great level of success in both her professional and personal life. Jeremy Blake was her significant other of 12 years. Though he was 5 years younger then her it would be a crime to insinuate that he was a student to her greatness. He himself was a talented artist and a pioneer in the art community. He had been one the first to merge the skills of painting and digital art. He was referred to as the man who made paintings move. Together they created a life filled with books, music, film nior, writing, art and love. In the twelve years they were together then apparently never spent a night apart. They were symbiotic and unbearable devoted to each other. Some might argue that it was bordering on unhealthy, but for these two there was no other way to live.
They meet in the early 1990’s. The story is that the first meeting was at a fugazi concert in D.C. Other people and articles say they met through friends at a party. Where ever the meeting first occurred it was a while before the union occurred. Roughly a year later they had both moved the New York City and ran into each other. On this second encounter the chemistry and attraction was instant and after that moment they we an item. During this time they both embarked on careers in the Video/Computer gaming field. Jeremy worked on the visual and illustration aspect while Theresa wrote the stories. At a time when the computer gaming industry was either geared towards very young children or young men, Duncan worked on what is still (what I would consider) a revolutionary field. She wrote games for young girls. While most games on the market focused of battle skills and winning wars and or power, her games focused on the concepts of exploring and discovering the world around her characters. The winning result was not slaughter but what you had uncovered and learned. They were poignant, clever and fun. By the end of the 90’s she had created 3 highly critically and commercially successful games: Chop Suey (narrated by a then unknown Davis Sedaris), Smartypants and Zero Zero. But it was also at this point in time that she encouraged her boyfriend to leave the gaming field and work on his own independent projects. After they had left the gaming world they even worked on a small film project of their own. A movie entitled The History of Glamour-a small independent film.
Eventually Blake’s art started to pick up he was showcased at The Whitney and various galleries. Some of his work is now on permanent display at the Museum of Modern Art. In 2004 he designed the cover art for Beck’s Sea Change and crated the animated hallucinogenic sequences in Punch Drunk Love. In the same year they moved to Los Angeles.
But as Blake’s star was rising Theresa found work harder to obtain. The industry she once flourished in was shifting rapidly and she was no longer a part of it. While in L.A. she worked on a screen play and freelanced to earn money. She even started her blog called “The Wit of The Staircase”. This is the English translation of the French term ‘esprit d'escalier’. This term is used to explain that perfect statement you think of after the conversation has ended. Duncan often updated her blog with a compulsive fervor. The topics ranged from her daily life, to perfume reviews, Kate Moss and various tidbits of knowledge she acquired.
Though the L.A. Time was a golden era for these two in terms of life and their relationship they also entered the beginning of their downfall. This time is now coined by those close to the couple as the “paranoid phase”. As Theresa started to struggle with her success and the pickiness of the Hollywood film industry she stared to believe that her inability to get work was the fault of spies and scientology. The couple claimed to have been exposed to the conspiracy of the evils of the religion though Beck.
Blake however was hopelessly devoted to Theresa. He not only seemed to believe her theories but also fanned the fire. When friends, close friends at that would express their concern over the absurdity of their claims Jeremy would go on the verbal attack and the couple would cut these nay sayers out. Blake even went so far as to prepare a 27 chronicle of their "indisputable proof of their antics" and said he was prepared to file a lawsuit against them for attempting ruining Duncan’s career. They felt that scientology forces like Tom Cruise were behind her inability to get her screen play produced. To this day the organization has not only denounced these claims but insists they had never even heard of the couple.
But the claims didn't end there. There were accusations that the CIA was also intertwined with the religion and were tailing them. There were stories that screen writer and director Miranda July was going through their trash and that Jeremy’s former college girlfriend and fellow artist Anna Gaskill was stalking them.
Soon they found themselves more and more isolated. Eventually they left their Santa Monica beach cottage. The reasons for this seemed to up for debate. Some say they were in a financial bind and others said it was because Jeremy dumped a cup of human piss on their neighbors during a barbeque and they lost their lease. The couple held up for a while at Jeremy’s studio before moving back the New York City early this year. Here they moved into a unique apartment that was formally a rectory in the court yard of St. Mark’s church. Jeremy took a job as a consultant with Rockstar video games (a company he was a founding member and illustrator for). Again the stories of this move are divided. Some people say they were ecstatic to be back in the city. Other say Jeremy was saddened but took the job out of fiscal need. Whatever the case may be, the first few months back seemed to rejuvenate them. They were often seen at trendy and exclusive eateries and clubs. They quickly reestablished the life they had left behind. But still they paranoia that developed on the west cost followed them they still believed that the government and the Church of Scientology w as still harassing them.
Then on July 10th of this year Jeremy came home one afternoon to find Theresa dead. She had taken a bottle of Tylenol PM and chased it with a bottle of bourbon. She left a suicide note simply stating that she loved Blake and that she had made solace with her decision to end her life. That day she updated her blog one last time. It was a picture of a blonde woman putting on a mask and underneath was a Reynolds Price quote:
"A need to tell and hear stories is essential to the species Homo sapiens--second in necessity apparently after nourishment and before love and shelter. Millions survive without love or home, almost none in silence; the opposite of silence leads quickly to narrative, and the sound of story is the dominant sound of our lives, from the small accounts of our day's events to the vast incommunicable constructs of psychopaths."
Jeremy spent the next few days under constant supervision of friends. And although he was absolutely devastated he seemed to have his wits about him. There was initial concern that he would kill himself but he reassured everyone that he was not going to “follow Theresa down that rabbit hole”. With in days he was sketching again and making arrangements to new gallery shows and tying up business with Rockstar and arranging plans to travel to Michigan for Theresa funeral. Seven days later Jeremy attended some business at Rockstar. His friends were confident he would be ok. Instead of returning home to meet someone he rode the A train to its last stop: Rockaway Beach. He walked onto the beach removed his clothes and walked into the Atlantic Ocean and was never seen alive again. The police found a simple note saying that he missed Theresa. On July 22nd his body was found 4.5 miles off the New Jersey coast line.
There life together was the one that both dreams and nightmares are made of. And Since their deaths everyone from close friends to total strangers has been dishing out their thoughts on what exactly went wrong. Some indicted that Theresa is responsible for everything. With in weeks stories circulated about her character. There are claims that she was a liar and manipulator. Anything she ever did or said has been held under a microscope and ripped part. These include indiscretions she made about her age to her claims about her college degree to old rumors about problems with former writing partner on the Game Chop Suey to an incident earlier this year where she was accused of plagiarizing an article she wrote about perfume. Perhaps one of the harshest comments came from a friend who said this:
“I think Theresa took her life trying to let Jeremy escape from something that was haunting her,” he said. “He could have extricated himself from all the weirdness. I think she checked out before it was irreversible for him.”
There have been numerous articles written about these two then the 9 weeks after their deaths. I am not sure it’s my place to theorize on what happened to them. I did not know them and am sorry to report up until Monday had never heard of them.
I do think the reason for all the fanfare (pardon the lighthearted term here) is because it is all so shockingly bazaar. No mater what I say as a total stranger to this will not be justified. Although clearly there were some serious psychosis involved here. I do not know if I have a right to place culpability on her, him or situations. But since their deaths the internet has been a buzz with blame and stories as wild as their delusions about their last few years. The stories ranged from Scientologists being involved in their suicides. To the idea that couple is playing a dramatic hoax. They were known for their love of mystery and film nior stories and some have compared their strange and untimely deaths to a plot to become an internet mystery waiting to be solved like one of Duncan’s games.
What I will comment on is just the idea of being an artist always has the dressing of insanity and narcissism. In fact this maybe one of my favorite quote on the idea (though I am not sure if it is appropriate to place here:
A mistake which is commonly made about neurotics is to suppose that they are interesting. It is not interesting to be always unhappy, engrossing with oneself, malignant and ungrateful, and never quite in touch with reality.
-Cyril Connolly
This is another chapter in the book of two talented people who lost touch with reality and the conflict of the reality and their world was clearly a weight that was too much for them. I have often though that the idea of a soul mate is something that provides peace with others and me. They concept of being a literal part of someone else though has always been the foundation of which a house of horror and dysfunction is built. But perhaps the one question we should be asking outside of why this happened is how this happened.
It was not scientologists or the C.I.A or even Miranda July that did them in. They did it to themselves. For a couple that lived in the romance of themselves and the mystery of life, they have made as much of an imprint with their deaths as they did with their talent. It is sad that what is unsolved and unknown receives more attention then their contributions.
In the end though there shouldn’t be a question of fault. But a bitter sweet realization that everyone is left empty here, their family, their friends and even the world. And perhaps one day we will all discover the wit of at their staircase.
